It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
