im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
