The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize