Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today

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(210): View more from Texas

I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.

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(229): View more from Georgia

He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.

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(214): View more from Texas

As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.

(612): View more from Minnesota

His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.

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(219): View more from Indiana

LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS

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(303): View more from Colorado

Why does my jaw hurt?

(402): View more from Nebraska

I may have punched you.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night

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(407): View more from Florida

Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!

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