I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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