I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
