me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize