Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
