I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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