FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
