i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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