She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
