Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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