If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My pussy is not your playground.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
