Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize