This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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