ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
