meet me or not, i'm out of control
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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