Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize