you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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