I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
