His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
