Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
