glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I fill condoms, not promises.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Randomize
