I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Randomize
