This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
