i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
