I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
