champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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