Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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