would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
