Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
