the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
