Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
