If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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