Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
you had me at cake vodka
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize