Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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