We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize