i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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