I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
