Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
