were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
