Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize