Banned from zoo.
Again?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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