she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
