So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
So vagazzling was a success
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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