i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
What a dumb baby whore.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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