if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
