I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Randomize