Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My liver just broke up with me...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
I love you.
Bad choice
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
