I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
