i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize