i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
