We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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