I wanna bring you to show and tell
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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