is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
