so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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