We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Just high enough for therapy.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
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