You're my little dorito
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
so that wasnt chicken after all
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize