You really coming over, don't trick.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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