I hate your face
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
