the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
