the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
