I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
